F E A R S
- Mia Davies
- Jan 5, 2020
- 4 min read
On a post about my fears, of course I had to have a title in capitals for extra affect???
Anyhow, after looking back over previous lectures to find some inspiration to write.. the lecture on fears and combatting them sprung to mind. I guess the average, normal person tends to be scared of heights, public speaking, a certain animal.. maybe mushrooms if you are Emily (bestie #1), or shower curtains if you're Christy (bestie #2) 🥴🥴🥴... but mine, on reflection, are quite deep.
1. SPIDERS
Ok, so I know this is as basic as anyone else's, but yeah nothing terrifies me more. Their horrible, fluffy legs and boggley eyes actually give me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about seeing one. BUT lucky enough for me, my dog is the number 1 spider murderer in North Wales.. since she smacks her paws on them and proceeds to pull each leg off... * I apologise to anyone offended, I promise she doesn't realise they are harmless??? 😳 *
Let me just grace you with this picture of one I found in Thailand...
(I'm actually never reading back over this because the picture gives me the fear).
All I'm saying is this is one which will never, ever be combatted. Probably because I can't actually bring myself to kill them, so if you ever hear any screaming around Barnes Wallis, just know it's me.. suffering in the company of a "harmless"* spider.
*They are definitely not all harmless, but that is a different story in itself...
2. HEIGHTS
Here I am again being a hypocrite, or so you thought!!? So, bit of an odd one. I had never assigned myself that well-known fear of heights, that almost everyone and their nan reckons they have... UNTIL I went to Thailand (yes, it really is being brought up again) and did one
particular hike! It was a 50 minute, practically vertical trek, which was through the jungle and to a viewpoint which quite frankly nearly made me spew - even more so when one particular gust of wind almost sent me straight off the edge and to my death 😃 !
My legs were trembling so much I had to crawl/shuffle along it instead of walk, and my heart
was racing so fast that I did encounter a mini panic attack (oops). Despite all of this going on, a local dog actually followed us the entire way and appeared to enjoy the thrill of near death (?) , rather strange. Anyhow, after the whole initial shock, I am almost certain that the wind actually blew the fear out of me, as I have been fine with heights ever since... dramatic much?
3. THE FAT ON BACON
The heading in itself is as explanatory as this one needs to be.
NEXT...
4. DYING ALONE (YEP)
Aaand here is where it gets deep. This one has definitely arisen in more recent years. After illnesses in the family, marriage separations and both my parents hitting the big 60 (sorry mum), it got me thinking about life in general.
If you know me well you would know that I've always hated being an only child. It can get extremely lonely. I've never had a strong figure to stick up for me through bullying issues in school. There was no one to go to for personal help/advice which my mum wouldn't of understood, no one to mess about and play with on holidays.. the list is endless! Because of this I do think it has meant I'm a more independent person, however I do always want reassurance, and can be seen to be more sensitive (which my friends think is because I've never had to deal with petty fighting/name calling/bickering between siblings etc). Despite this, anyone that knows me well is aware my absolutely gorgeous dog, Molly, is practically my sister.. 🥺💗. She came into my life when I was only 7 years old, and I really don't remember life without her as she has such a huge personality and loving nature. However, she's now nearly 13 years old and is deteriorating so quickly (but I can't speak about this as I'll start welling up...).
As well as being an only child, I am also the youngest in my family *rolls eyes*. Due to the large age gaps I've never had a really close bond with my cousins, which I've always seen in my friends and their families, even some being closer with a cousin than their brother/sister. My youngest cousins are also in longterm relationships... another issue of mine. By this I mean my love life is a known joke between all my friends, as it is very tragic indeed.
All the above is constantly running round my head, with all my family being older, knowing my dog only has a short lifespan, and of course feeling like I'm never going to meet a decent boy (since everyone I ever date tends to be compulsive liars or cheats, woohoo!!), so generally I'm just terrified I will end up alone with no family (I won't be an aunty without having to be married 🥴) and 5 doggos.
Sorry to end on a very depressing tone but.. here we have it, my fears!
Mia
xo
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